- 2 surgeries
- 4 rounds of Adriomiocin (AKA RED DEVIL) and Cytoxin - Once every two weeks
- Countless tests, of which some required contortionist skills
- Millions of RX pills and nutritional supplements, including some gnarly whey protein shakes and glucosamine powder.
- 9 rounds of Taxol and Herceptin (I want to remind my fellow reader what Wise Man #2 said to me about Taxol. I asked Dr. Fain, "How long do I take the Taxol." He responded, "as long as your body can endure it.") ONLY 3 LEFT...last one is September 1st!
- 2 emergency room visits...which weren't bad with Lucy and Ethell (Mom and Ray) and my girlfriend, Rosie! A bonus to it was Dad was working the night I went to the Georgetown ER.
- One short staycation at Seton Williamson Hospital. Spiffy place, I must say!
- Countless hours face planting the floor asking Jesus to empty me out and pour Himself in.
So, I've lost all my hair, had diarrhea, constipation, ta ta drainage (1st surgery), roids, hot flashes, swelling, chronic nausea and vertigo, vomiting, and gained 21 pounds on an already overweight body. The weight gain has been an issue for me. These things have all come and gone as I walk through this valley. It is the Valley of the Shadow of Death. Parts of my body are dying with the cancer. Parts of me that should have died when I bowed my knee to Jesus are finally dying. That's a good thing.
BUT this surgery...it will involve pain and a recovery for who knows how long since my body takes it's own time to heal which is usually longer than most. This surgery will require 4 tubes to hang out of my body to drain....UGH...really...Really! Really? I just know I couldn't do this without Mom and Dad being so confident that it will all be okay...Tubes....TUBES
TUBES will be coming out of my body! My body will ooze stuff out of my TUBES. Did I mention that they will be hanging out of my body? FOUR of them?!?!?! That is sooooo MATRIX!
I'm so going to have to stay at the Granny Spa and let Mom and Dad do this. I just do NOT know how I am going to get through this one. It will be at the end of September. It is a very scary dark place for me right now. It is starting to consume my thoughts. I KNOW people in real life have worse things to walk through. But, as for me, this recovery thing is my DARK Valley. Did I mention, that I am AFRAID OF THE DARK!?!?! I'm so thankful I am the daughter of the Most High God and Great Physician.
Sorry to disappoint all of you who thought I was so strong. This is me, broken on the ROCK. Tonight, I shall seek his Face and not just his Hand!