Hot FLASH relief

I think I may have unlocked a secret code this morning.

1. Drink Ice Cold Pulp Free Orange juice with your meds.
2. Take 3 Tums Smoothies for the heartburn that the Orange Juice caused. (But you need the potassium...so this is all good!)
3. Go to the freezer and grab an HEB orange flavored FRUIT BAR.
4. Set the Fruit Bar on the bathroom sink while getting ready for you cool shower.
5. Unwrap your fruit bar after you unwrap yourself and carefully enter the shower.
6. CAUTION: DO NOT let the water hit the fruit bar...It's not as tasty.
7. Get out, and get ready....when your hot flash returns in just 12 minutes repeat the process skipping steps 1 & 2.
8. Shout as loud as you can, "THANK YOU, MOM FOR TAKING CARE OF THE KIDS!" Hopefully she hears it from Hutto to Georgetown!
9. Praise God that you have a mother that loves to take care of her monkey and princess, frozen fruit bars, a shower that works and no hair!

Hospital Vacation

Let's see, it's been awhile...

Rewind to June 12, 2009:

Nausea, vomiting, climbing up a ladder and you hear something splatter and high fevers are not to be messed with when one is going through chemo. Dad told me to go into the ER first thing in the morning, so I could beat the crowd. So, My Rosie drove me to Seton Williamson Hospital. By the way, it's pretty nice.

Due to the high fever they let me stay there from Saturday thru Wednesday. WooHoo....NOT...Are you kidding me? I missed my kids. Hubby stayed with me 2 of those nights. Now, I have to be super careful in public. Thanks, Doc for feeding that fear. Oh, and I get to pay you for it! Wonderful!

Long story short. I was tested for mono, flu all kinds, strep...everything came back clean. I had an infection, but we don't know what it was. If anybody sees Dr. House, let him know my symptoms and see if he could cure me...Thanks...Tired...so this is super short. I do have some cute pictures coming when I am not raging tired.

French Braiding Lessons

My Blessed Banana Barbara came to teach me how to french braid hair. Mom had Hannah Beth. No problem. My wonderful husband volunteered to wear a wig and allow us to practice on him.


BBB showed me how to do it fairly quickly. I was surprised at how easy it is to do. Then I tried. Yeah, easy my big fat bumpkin! I've been practicing on Hannah Beth. Hopefully by the time school starts, she'll be able to wear a french braid or twisties that BBB showed me.
Thanks, BBB for taking your time to teach me! We had too much fun!



Thanks, BBB for taking your time to teach me! We had too much fun!

I just hug you!

Soldiering up for work

Eddie Bauer Outlet is the current place of my very part time employment. I have always called it my Fun Times job. I get paid to run around and have fun. I have zero responsibilities and no stress, except for the stress I place on myself to strive for perfection....Yes...I am still losing this one!

Dexamethazone...AKA...Steroids that make me fat are NOT my friends. Because of this part of my treatment, I only have 3 options of what I can wear on the bottom half of my ever increasing frame of a body. (For those of you that haven't had to face my ugly mug, I have gone beyond oompa loompa land. I am so round and that looks funny when you have a bald head!)

1. Size 14 brown cargo skirt
2. Size 14 khaki cargo skirt
   
3. Size 14 brown and white pinstripe capris

I have a pair of shorts I can wear, but not to work. This is my current wardrobe. I'm one with it, because it reminds me that this is temporary. On the flip side, I have an equally restricted amount of tops I can fit into. The upside of this is I don't have too many options. Ever since we started this chemo business, my mind has not been the same. I can't juggle things like I used to. So, it is actually a blessing to have limited wardrobe options.

I was not able to sleep on Wednesday night. I finally went to bed at 3AM. When my alarm went off and off and off and off and off at 7AM, it did not register in my little brain that it was an alarm for me to get up and get ready for work. UGH~! Mom had the kids, so my real alarm clocks weren't there for me. It is so much easier to get up in a great mood when you are woken up by your child rather than an alarm anyways. Alicia woke up at 9AM! I have to leave no later than 9:30 in order to get to work on time. Thank you, Jesus for my bald head!

I went downstairs, took my anti-nausea cocktail of Kytril, Compazine, Meclizine and a new Scopalomine patch. Chex cereal is my favorite right now, although I didn't get to taste it as I hoovered it down as I started ironing my clothes. Why didn't I iron when I couldn't sleep last night?

I got dressed with option 3 on bottom, with a brown tank top and white button down. Hello pretty little tomato stain right on the buttons of my shirt! Hello grease stain on my brown tank top...this one was front and center. Which rules it completely out for another ensemble.

Option number 2 was much easier to iron, until I noticed the grease stain right in the lap of the skirt!REALLY! REALLY? Really~ Obviously, I was wearing the brown skirt, brown tank and white button up a the same time. I had an instant flashback of the turkey sandwich I was eating while driving in that outfit. BUGGER!

Option 2, for the love of God, please let there be a stain free outfit for me to wear! It is now 9:20AM. YES! Stain free indeed, my friend! I had to wear a barret with this outfit. It makes me feel "exposed" in a sense because it has holes all over it.

Into the shower I stepped, and out of the shower I stepped. Thank you, Jesus again for my bald head! I was dressed in no time. I painted on my eyebrows and the rest of my war paint in lickity splickity time. I was ready and it was 9:30. Hooray! I was so going to make it to work on time!

Why is it that when you are in a crazy mad rush, that your body tells you it's time to make a dookey doo? Seriously! It wasn't going to be a fast one either. Bugger!

I was in the truck by 0:40....thanks to the dookey doo!

I always get super anxious before I go to work. I used to be quick witted. I considered myself smart, not brilliant, but at least smart. Not anymore. I am easily confused. It takes me a long time to process procedures. I don't do well with numbers. Oh and the best part about going to work is that I CAN:T SEE! The meclizine and patch I have to use regularly to ward off the evil vertigo causes blurred vision. All this runs through my little brain over and over while I'm preparing for work.

It's amazing that they haven't fired me yet! I'm not fast returning clothes back to their correct place. I don't have the strength to carry tons of clothes all at the same time. I'm slow processing. I fumble over my words when I welcome customers into the store. I get confused on the register. Jamestastic, Robinator and Sue have allowed me to work with them in spite of what I have become. I could write a whole song and dance about each and every person I work with there, but I'm getting tired now. I am ever so grateful to work with such forgiving, graceful and compassionate team! You don't find that often in the retail business. You do at Eddie Bauer!

New Sister, Sam!

Ty and Sam sitting at the beach K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage!

HOORAY! My brother, Ty, is now engaged to Sam! He asked her to marry him on a beach in Hawaii on Monday night! How cool is that!?!? I am so excited for both of them. I just know he is so in love with her.

They're getting married sometime next year. I can't wait! Oh phooey! I'm not going to wait. She doesn't have to have the "I do" to be my sister. She is with the engagement! Welcome to the family Sam! We are all so excited for the both of you!

You should see the ROCK he gave her! I had to put on my sunglasses just to get a good look at it...and I was looking at pictures on Mom's ipod don't touch! Crazy beautiful ring for a beautiful person! I know she is inside and out without even meeting her. I've heard so much about her! It's all good! There's one thing I know for sure about her! She is a planner! I just so know they will be happy together forever and ever! Hooray! Love you both, Ty and Sam! Congratulations!

ER

Good Times!

Seriously! I was a homicidal paniac last night. I thought the red devil (AC) was bad! This Taxol is kicking my mecca-lecca-high-mecca-hiney-ho! Here's the story:

My Besty, Mom, endured the infusion center with me on Tuesday. It was all good. I so missed her! She is way cool...as a Mom...as a friend...as a confidant...as a shrink...the list is too long!

Any who. I noticed last week during treatment that I had some lower back pain when they started the Taxol. It went away. No biggy. I didn't complain, because it was just uncomfortable. This week the same thing happened. It was a little more uncomfortable, but the pain subsided. My legs got heavy and light at the same time. It's been a LONG time since I had a drink, but it was like I was boozing it up. My legs felt like I had drinken 2 Mexican Martini's with patron silver from Trudy's! That was a little more strange. The Tagamet and Benadryl they gave me normally knocks me into a coma, but I wanted to visit with my Besty. So, I stayed awake. Besides, I don't like to fall asleep there because as I've said before, I'm always afraid I'll drool, fart or snore! SOOO embarrassing!

Mom and I were hungry like the wolf by the end of the treatment. She bought us Sonic Good Times! Yummo! Half Price Hambooogies always taste better! We brought it home. (BUT, Sammi brought us a home-made better than Olive Garden meal! We ate that tonight! It was YUUMMO! I am so moving in with them! That lady can coooooook!) We all ate, Aiden had some tots. Mom left. I tried to sit and watch a show with my Hannah Beth...PAIN! Hello DOLLY! My back was hurting! It was a throbbing pain all in my low back. It was like my entire back of my pelvic bone was sore. Crazy mad hurting sore! So, I tried to lay down with my sweet girl. It subsided, but not much. I asked Ray if I could go to bed. (His knee is still hurting and his back went out again. Bless his heart!) He encouraged me that he could handle the kids through his pain, so I could rest.

I made it up the stairs and into bed. You all know the pain scale right? 1-10? Uh-Yeah! Hello! I was a 10 pushing 100! Passing kidney stones is easier to endure than this pain. Burning your hand with 2nd degree partial thickness with all your nerves exposed so you can feel everything did not compare to this pain! It was wrapping around to my abdominal region like crazy mad PMS bursting cysts every month pain now. Oh GREAT! Then it crept up to my chest. It was like a big fat angel was sitting on my chest, but in a bad way. I guess that would make it a demon and not an angel. You know how it feels when it's cold outside and your 7th grade coach doesn't care and still makes you run that mile in at least 7 minutes or under? You know that stinging pain of the cold air cutting into your lungs feeling? That's a smidgen of what I was feeling. There was NO position that would relieve the pain. I made it downstairs to get 2 Darvocet. (I didn't want to ask Ray to do it! He was in pain too!) I BARELY made it back upstairs to bed. I cried, I bawled, I heaved, but did not throw up from the pain.

Finally, I called Mom. She always has the answers. ER was hers this time. That didn't sound good. "Holy Cocky Nonni! Mom has had to do nothing but be in hospitals for the past 5 weeks. She finally comes home after saying good-bye to Grandma on earth, and I invite her to come to a hospital! She hasn't even been here 24 hours yet! She had to endure the MJ funeral during chemo for crying in the night! When does she get to rest? When does her heart get to feel peace?" raced through my mind as I hung up the phone. I didn't want to hang up. I wanted her with me as I got ready and traveled.

We decided to go to Georgetown Hospital, because my father was working and I would be close to him. He could come in and out between patients. He was busy, so I understood why he could only physically come in twice until his shift was over. All the nurses were keeping him up to speed. OH! I so have to give props to my dad! He is EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH! Hooray, Dad! You are more than that to me, you are Father of the millennium! Love you, Dad!

I called Rosie. That crazy Mexican came over here with her bad back in her socks and her shorts practically falling off her bottom! I just love her! Angel stayed with the kids. Hannah Beth was upset, because I was crying. Ray was composed. Honestly, I think he was excited to be able to drive faster than normal! Bless his heart! He was so scared. I grabbed my drugs, folder with my drug and supplement list and all my doctors' information and crammed it into my cool Eddie Bauer Purse.

Ray took Chandler road to I-35...as per my request. DUH! NEVER LISTEN TO A HOMICIDAL PANIAC! I forgot how bumpy that road is! DOOH! We made it anyways. Here we are, my husband with a bad back and knee, my girlfriend, Rosie with a bad back (she needs surgery and keeps putting it off), and I'm the only one that got any attention.

Why is it that when you either have vertigo of the worst kind or you are in an abysmal amount of pain when sitting that everybody and their dog offers you a wheelchair? Oh yeah...probably because I could barely walk! At least 5 people offered us one. Each time Rosie and Ray's tones became more cross when they said, "NO!" for me.

I had great nurses, but the best one was not able to help me. My dad was with other patients. Jose can you see, my jalapeno on a stick was my first nurse. Then came sweet Jennifer.

Long story longer. Dr. Rabideaux shared with me 3 possibilities.

1. It was a growth (tumor) on my back causing the pain.
2. It was a pulmonary embolism. (blood clot in my lungs)
3. Benign anomaly of pain from chemo.

"I choose door number 3!" I responded. He ordered a blood test. I had to lay on my back for the blood test. Mind you, the pressure on my chest increased exponentially as I lay on my back. The nurse like James tilted the bed back as far as it would go to try to make the port work. I felt like I was upside down. Mom said I wasn't, but I felt like it! I noticed something in that position, the pain was decreasing, rapidly. By the time he fooled with my port, the pain had completely subsided. COMPLETELY.

Mr. Man nurse left. Lucy and Ethel AKA Mom and Ray tried to thrust me out of the bed! All I wanted was for it to have me in a sitting position. The only thing they could figure out to do was tilt the entire bed forward with my feet closer to the ground and my head closer to the ceiling. I thought for sure they would have me in complete V formation before somebody stopped the madness. Mom just laughed. I loved the sound...Mom laughing. It was worth it!

The blood test came back. It showed a possible door number 2, so I got to go through the CT even though the pain was gone. CT was clean. I won door prize number 3! Hooray! I was able to be released and now I get to pray my way through anxieties of future Taxol reactions. All I have to say about this is FUN TIMES!

If Monte and Cha can come and pray with me to smash the needle anxieties to smithereens, then I can do the same about future fears! I will put my Trust in the Lord. I will magnify him and not my fears. this little thing called cancer will only draw me closer to my Father. It's all good!

Memo to me: Next time you feel this excrutiating pain...stand on your head! It could save my friends and family pain of their own, $100 and preciouse sleepy time!

One way or another

Aiden's gonna get what he wants! He wanted his pretzels. Currently, he lacks the skill to break the lock. He still giggled the entire time. You know that ornery giggle little boys do when they are up to something no good! Maybe next time, Buddy!

Here he is trying to convince me that he would be capable of taking a nap on the ground in front of the TV.... He does haves skills! It was hard to say no to these giggles and cheesy grins! Jelly Bean made a pillow for Hannah Beth, Aiden and Mommy. Aiden won them all for a moment because he was being the cutest at the time.

I praised Aiden for getting all of his things together all by himself. He has our precious pillows, his sippie cup (only for before, not during nap!), his lovey from Kathryn Watkins, and his silkie. Hannah Beth tucked him in. This "darling smile and cackle" was the response I got when I explained that yes, he is very cute, but he will still have to go night night in his crib. He never gives up! I did win, with little struggle. What a great little Monkey! Just love him to pieces!

Notice how much bigger his smile is here?!?!?

BTW...he lost the battle after Little Einsteins. To the crib we went!

Aiden's 1st Water Ride!

Aiden's 1st Water Ride!

Hannah Beth wanted in on the action!

Poor Hannah Beth! She just loves on Aiden and he will have none of it! Today, at HEB, I told her, "Hannah Beth, please stop kissing and cuddling Aiden. Boys don't like that kind of stuff." (At least our boy doesn't yet....He's still in training!) The little cashier boys on the right and left of us chuckled loudly at that comment. I guess it all changes when you are a working teenager. Oh how I dread that day! Oh, Wait! I forgot! Shannon will be raising Aiden through his teen years for me. Thanks, Shannon! You are a great sister!

Life without

Life without Grandma on earth....just hit me.

I know she is in a better place. I know she doesn't have any more pain. I know she can finally rest.

I still miss her like Pooh Bear misses honey....

Today, My Bestie, Mom comes home. Today, I will have to look into her eyes and see her pain. I will have to see how deeply she misses her mom. I just don't know what I can do for her.

I think I'll skip the being strong part and just cry with her.