It's a small stubby little ponytail, but it is a ponytail nonetheless. The mixed feelings of elation and sadness chased each other from my heart to my head, and finally to my shaking hands. My hair has FINALLY grown long enough to make a chongo! Yippee! But, Kristi...
She never had the chance to pull her hair back in a chongo. How can I be excited to be alive when her family will have to wait so long before they see her? We will never see her with our natural eyes again. How can I possibly celebrate this milestone of a simple ponytail while others are still fighting for their lives?
Last night at bible study, Monte taught us to make our petitions known to God. "Just lay it on the table, but don't hang out there. His peace will come." (Psalms 61, 77-78)
Then she said something that made me go HMMMM. You know the 'my name is Legion, for we are many' dude. He hung out at the tombs. "Tombs are monuments of the past," Monte continued to teach. She warned, "Don't hang out there! Dwelling on the things that are from your past causes issues (craziness, depression, etc.)." Look at the man at the tombs. He lost his mind because he stayed there!" How many times have I lost my mind by getting overwhelmed with the things of the past and even the present!!??!!
The truth is:
I pass through places, but I don't hang out there. If so, I WILL go crazy! I'm choosing to cry, scream and yell out to God when I am frustrated and hurting. I will lay it ALL out and LEAVE it ALL at his FEET! It WILL PASS! His PEACE is coming!
Today, I will celebrate my stubby little ponytail. Truth is, Kristi would want me to rock it out! I KNOW she would. I miss her, but I KNOW I will see her again. I am looking to the LORD and His promises that are all YES AND AMEN.
"Shift the atmosphere by recalling the good He has done in the past. If you can't remember something good He has done for you, remember something good He has done for me! It's like pulling yourself up by the bootstraps. Go to the Rock!" ...Monte Rector
That's some good preaching!!!!! What are some good things He has done for me? OHHHHH! This list is long. This afternoon, I will continue to thankfully praise Him for the good things He has done for me in the past and is doing now. The atmosphere is shifting!!!! PSST, guess what?!?
I have a ponytail!!!! :)