Just the facts

I've walked through the valley of the shadow of death.  I've been  poisoned, burned and cut over and over and over again. A few times, I felt alone.  These times were fleeting moments,  because the made sure that I was surrounded by strong and encouraging friends and family.  When I was physically alone, He Himself comforted me.  I've been teamed up with the best doctors, therapists and medical staff without having to search.  For this, I am incredibly thankful.


Nurses, doctors, therapists and fellow survivors have told me that it will take about two years to recover.  I really thought this little thing called cancer would be over once I was declared cancer free.  Much like my Father, I am a stubborn person, especially when faced with a challenge.  I will do everything in my power to overcome obstacles ~ EVERYTHING!


Yesterday, we met with the Wise Man #2, Dr. Fain, my oncologist.  Never shoot the messenger!  Here are the facts:

1. I cannot be in the trial for a new drug.  I have had too many adverse reactions to meds, surgeries and procedures.  It's not safe for any new drugs to be introduced to my body.
2. I cannot have any pets for now.  Again, we do not want to introduce anything that I could have any type of reaction too. I need to strengthen my body's immune system.
3. My heart function has decreased.  Herceptin is the drug that destroys the Her2 protein (the mad metastasizer).  A side effect of Herceptin is that is can damage the heart.  I am unable to take the last treatment unless my heart improves.
4. The adrenal insufficiency is still in full swing.  My symptoms have been nausea, increased pain and incredible fatigue.  Stress causes these symptoms to increase because my body doesn't produce cortisol to help deal with the effects of stress on the body.  This can lead to cardiac arrest.  'nuff said.
5. 20% chance...Well, let's look at this number as 80%.  I have an 80% chance of remaining cancer free for the next five years.  It is imperative that my diet, exercise and stress levels remain balanced.  The food I eat is just as important as the drugs and supplements I take daily.
6. Work is no longer an option for me anymore.  The stress of teaching has caused me to step backwards more than I could have ever imagined.  "It's not that you will never be able to teach.  You just need to focus on recovery right now.  We'll get you to where you can do what your heart desires." Dr. Fain encouraged me.

So, there it is. I will not be the marathon running cancer survivor that I wanted to be this year.  I really had high hopes of running in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in November.  I will walk, because that is what I will be able to do.  I am still learning how to accept all this news.  I cannot push my body anymore.  It will kill me.  So, I am learning to wake up each day and live moment by moment.  I do not have to like the new set of rules I have been given, but I can enjoy the life that I have been given!

2 Corinthians 4:15-17
All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.  Therefore, we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are earning for us an eternal glory that outweighs them all.

No matter how daunting this news is to me, these are light and momentary troubles.