Jehovah Jireh

"Oh No!" Aiden cries out as he hurls a pea across the dining room table. He is so stinking cute when he does it. He exclaims, "Oh NO!" in such a sweet voice that it is nearly impossible to correct him.

"Food goes in your mouth or on your plate, please, Sir," I correct in my best firm teacher voice. Then I realize, I don't have that same stern voice I used to have.

God is doing something in me. I think He is granting my request of more of Him and less of me. As of now, I believe that I won't be able to be a classroom teacher again due to the stress. God has given me the grace to accept that. I just don't know what He will have me do next. I LOVE teaching. I LOVE my kiddos! That fire in my heart for the nations is still strong. At the same time, I know this little thing called cancer has given me new perspectives on just about everything.

When you fight a booger like cancer, God just gives you strength and courage. When you start to shake, He brings family and friends alongside of you to lift you up. Some moments are harder than others. Sometimes it's just the Big JC and me in the shower... as I sing, "Shout to the Lord, Shout to the Lord, Shout to the Lord of Hosts. It breaks a heavy yoke, It breaks a heavy yoke when you shout, you shout to the Lord!"

Other times it's a phone a friend that is teaching you to scream, "Fuck you, cancer!" Thank you, Michelle! I love you just the way you are! Then there are moments when you call your bestie to hold your hair back as you spew into the porcelain god. (And it sucks when you do it over and over and you aren't even pregnant!)

Then you cry out to God, "I can't do this, I really need help. I miss my mom!" The next day, He has your sister call and be that help. He has friends from GHS write you specific prayers that they are praying...and they are praying exactly what I've been praying...even the same words!!!! He even has people I haven't even met *until 8/22* send you a 100 cards of encouragement and blessing. Then they pray over you and you realize HOLY JESUS! She is an intercessor that totally knows how to get down and war in the heavens for you! YES LORD!

I started this posting 3 days ago. It was getting so long. So many people have been incredible blessings to us that I felt that I shouldn't post the entire thing. I didn't want to miss anybody. I cut it off at this point, because I started naming people. I want to thank everybody individually. I just know that I won't be able to remember every name right now. Thank you everybody for being the hands, feet, and heart of Jesus extended to my family and I during this season in our lives.

One lesson that I obviously had not learned until tltcc is that God WILL MEET MY EVERY NEED. He is Jehovah Jireh. He will make sure that my husband, daughter and son are taken care of when I can't. He will do it with or without me asking out loud to a person. He will use people to accomplish what I can't. It's truly amazing.