YEE HAW!

Today's Mantra
Cresta, my personal physical terrorist taped my shoulder up today. You see, after a mastectomy, many women tend to roll one or both shoulders forward in an attempt to guard the pain. I would be one of those women! DANG IT!!!!!


(I know I so need to catch everybody up on the latest and greatest of the obstacles I keep knocking over. I will play catch-up on the next post! I'm feeling extra Sassy today. So, I decided to record today's happenings.)

OOOOOPS! Bunny trail, sorry! I have to give props to my girl, Cresta! She is excellent at what she does! She is a physical therapist, and specializes in lymphedema. She knows what she is doing, and she is GREAT at what she does! I couldn't be in better hands. It is amazing how I keep getting the best of the best with every doctor I've worked with and now, I get to work with her! Okay...bunny trail is over! (I heart you and your bunny trails, BK!)

Where was I? Sassy!!!! So, Cresta tapes my shoulder back and shows me how to have proper posture. I couldn't help but giggle! When you have proper posture, you are sticking your boobies out! Seriously.

"Hello, look at my fake boobies. They are lopsided!" I declared in my best deep, sultry, Columbian Coffee commercial voice. Cresta chuckled. I declared my mantra inside my head to remind myself to keep those shoulders back. (Some of you may be wondering why my fake newbies are lopsided. Long story short, we are not able to fill the expanders on the radiated side as quickly as the other.)

Mowing the Lawn
Today was the perfect day to pull weeds. The soil was still nice and soggy from yesterday's rain. Aiden went down for his nap easily. I new I had a minimum of 90 minutes to devote to the yard. Hannah Beth gleefully accepted my invitation to play outside. After playing together, I asked her permission to pull the weeds and clover. She responded, "I don't mind if you have to do that dirty work. We can play again later." Oh! I could just squeeze lemonade right out of her! She's so cute!

I kept the baby monitor, cell phone and home phone all in one place out of the sun. Hannah Beth put her Dora garden gloves on as I decorated myself with my brown velour pants (yes, you read that right, VELOUR!), brown long sleeve shirt, Save the Ta Tas camouflage hat and WHITE CROCS!

We marched to the clover and ripped the living roots right out of the ground. We were both pooped after pulling a 1X1 foot area in twenty minutes. Hannah Beth was pulling with all her might as I attacked the roots with the cool garden tool thingy I bought last year on clearance. I don't know what it's called, but it sure did work! I finally just blurted, "This clover and weed pulling by hand is for the birds, I'm gonna mow the living bad word out of this stuff."

"Yeah, Momma, you get that bad stuff out of here!" exclaimed Hannah Beth.

OH! It was ON LIKE DONKEY KONG! I stood up, 'snapped' my lopsided boobies out and headed for the lawnmower. Hannah Beth promised to stay in sight if I got Bessie running. I decided if we have fuel, it would be a sign that it would be okay for me to mow the lawn. Low and behold...FUEL!

Of course I was sharing all my thoughts with Hannah Beth. She was following right behind me proclaiming, "FUEL, check!"

"I'm only going to pull Bessie's string 7 times. If it takes any more, I will give up the ghost on this. I don't know if I have the strength for this. I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be pulling it, but here goes."

Hannah Beth was there to count, "One, two, three, four, five, six, uh, maybe you aren't supposed...."

"YEE-Haw! I did it, Hannah Beth! High five, give me some knuckles and blow it up with fireworks! Your Momma is NOT to be messed with!"

She humored me with high fives and knuckles before mounting her bike while I mowed the lawn in my crazy sun-blocking outfit. I had the cheesiest grin on my face the entire time! Hannah Beth and I kept waving to each other. I was a whooping and a hollerin', screaming like a banshee, yeehawing and cheering while mowing most of the front yard. Out comes my new next door neighbor....OOOPS! I so know she thinks I'm loonier than a toon. Oh well!

I had to hold my right arm above my head for most of the time to keep it from swelling up. I'm sure I was a sight and sound to behold. Here I am, cheering, holding my right arm above my head with the best possible posture one can muster up while mowing the lawn with my left hand!

"Oh, my, my, Oh he** yes, time to put on that party dress" kept running through my head.

Victorious thoughts flooded my heart and brain:
This is for all my peeps who fought before me, with me and are currently fighting cancer! Take this, cancer! I can MOW the lawn. I'm a lawn MOWER. I'm laying down the law on my lawn! OOOPS, lopsy girls~SNAP~I am woman, hear me ROAR! Fightin' like a girl! Snap those girls again!

I decided to keep going until I ran out of fuel. Well, I didn't run out of fuel. I finished that bad mad lawn! Oh yes, I did! It was CRAZY swampy in back too! I kept thinking, Ray would be right at home mowing our backyard bayou!

Aiden woke up while I was finishing the last couple of rows in the back. He and Hannah Beth waved to me while I finished up. I could see his little mouth say, "Hi, Mommy!" through his pacifier. He grinned that grin that reminded me why this little thing called cancer didn't win. It didn't win because these two children that God gave to me were meant to be loved, tickled, adored and played with by ME!

The kids played in my bedroom and bathroom while I showered. Aiden was cracking me up with his little, "Hi, Mommy, cleaning her stinkies!" updates every minute and a half. Hannah Beth was giddy with delight each time he did it. I'm sure she was putting him up to the task!

It is now 12:14AM. I am tuckered out. I got home from work around ten tonight. It was fun playing at Eddie Bauer with Shawny and Kris tonight. I haven't taken one pain killer, and I do believe I will live. Good thing too! I'm excited about the adventure tomorrow will bring!