ER

Good Times!

Seriously! I was a homicidal paniac last night. I thought the red devil (AC) was bad! This Taxol is kicking my mecca-lecca-high-mecca-hiney-ho! Here's the story:

My Besty, Mom, endured the infusion center with me on Tuesday. It was all good. I so missed her! She is way cool...as a Mom...as a friend...as a confidant...as a shrink...the list is too long!

Any who. I noticed last week during treatment that I had some lower back pain when they started the Taxol. It went away. No biggy. I didn't complain, because it was just uncomfortable. This week the same thing happened. It was a little more uncomfortable, but the pain subsided. My legs got heavy and light at the same time. It's been a LONG time since I had a drink, but it was like I was boozing it up. My legs felt like I had drinken 2 Mexican Martini's with patron silver from Trudy's! That was a little more strange. The Tagamet and Benadryl they gave me normally knocks me into a coma, but I wanted to visit with my Besty. So, I stayed awake. Besides, I don't like to fall asleep there because as I've said before, I'm always afraid I'll drool, fart or snore! SOOO embarrassing!

Mom and I were hungry like the wolf by the end of the treatment. She bought us Sonic Good Times! Yummo! Half Price Hambooogies always taste better! We brought it home. (BUT, Sammi brought us a home-made better than Olive Garden meal! We ate that tonight! It was YUUMMO! I am so moving in with them! That lady can coooooook!) We all ate, Aiden had some tots. Mom left. I tried to sit and watch a show with my Hannah Beth...PAIN! Hello DOLLY! My back was hurting! It was a throbbing pain all in my low back. It was like my entire back of my pelvic bone was sore. Crazy mad hurting sore! So, I tried to lay down with my sweet girl. It subsided, but not much. I asked Ray if I could go to bed. (His knee is still hurting and his back went out again. Bless his heart!) He encouraged me that he could handle the kids through his pain, so I could rest.

I made it up the stairs and into bed. You all know the pain scale right? 1-10? Uh-Yeah! Hello! I was a 10 pushing 100! Passing kidney stones is easier to endure than this pain. Burning your hand with 2nd degree partial thickness with all your nerves exposed so you can feel everything did not compare to this pain! It was wrapping around to my abdominal region like crazy mad PMS bursting cysts every month pain now. Oh GREAT! Then it crept up to my chest. It was like a big fat angel was sitting on my chest, but in a bad way. I guess that would make it a demon and not an angel. You know how it feels when it's cold outside and your 7th grade coach doesn't care and still makes you run that mile in at least 7 minutes or under? You know that stinging pain of the cold air cutting into your lungs feeling? That's a smidgen of what I was feeling. There was NO position that would relieve the pain. I made it downstairs to get 2 Darvocet. (I didn't want to ask Ray to do it! He was in pain too!) I BARELY made it back upstairs to bed. I cried, I bawled, I heaved, but did not throw up from the pain.

Finally, I called Mom. She always has the answers. ER was hers this time. That didn't sound good. "Holy Cocky Nonni! Mom has had to do nothing but be in hospitals for the past 5 weeks. She finally comes home after saying good-bye to Grandma on earth, and I invite her to come to a hospital! She hasn't even been here 24 hours yet! She had to endure the MJ funeral during chemo for crying in the night! When does she get to rest? When does her heart get to feel peace?" raced through my mind as I hung up the phone. I didn't want to hang up. I wanted her with me as I got ready and traveled.

We decided to go to Georgetown Hospital, because my father was working and I would be close to him. He could come in and out between patients. He was busy, so I understood why he could only physically come in twice until his shift was over. All the nurses were keeping him up to speed. OH! I so have to give props to my dad! He is EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH! Hooray, Dad! You are more than that to me, you are Father of the millennium! Love you, Dad!

I called Rosie. That crazy Mexican came over here with her bad back in her socks and her shorts practically falling off her bottom! I just love her! Angel stayed with the kids. Hannah Beth was upset, because I was crying. Ray was composed. Honestly, I think he was excited to be able to drive faster than normal! Bless his heart! He was so scared. I grabbed my drugs, folder with my drug and supplement list and all my doctors' information and crammed it into my cool Eddie Bauer Purse.

Ray took Chandler road to I-35...as per my request. DUH! NEVER LISTEN TO A HOMICIDAL PANIAC! I forgot how bumpy that road is! DOOH! We made it anyways. Here we are, my husband with a bad back and knee, my girlfriend, Rosie with a bad back (she needs surgery and keeps putting it off), and I'm the only one that got any attention.

Why is it that when you either have vertigo of the worst kind or you are in an abysmal amount of pain when sitting that everybody and their dog offers you a wheelchair? Oh yeah...probably because I could barely walk! At least 5 people offered us one. Each time Rosie and Ray's tones became more cross when they said, "NO!" for me.

I had great nurses, but the best one was not able to help me. My dad was with other patients. Jose can you see, my jalapeno on a stick was my first nurse. Then came sweet Jennifer.

Long story longer. Dr. Rabideaux shared with me 3 possibilities.

1. It was a growth (tumor) on my back causing the pain.
2. It was a pulmonary embolism. (blood clot in my lungs)
3. Benign anomaly of pain from chemo.

"I choose door number 3!" I responded. He ordered a blood test. I had to lay on my back for the blood test. Mind you, the pressure on my chest increased exponentially as I lay on my back. The nurse like James tilted the bed back as far as it would go to try to make the port work. I felt like I was upside down. Mom said I wasn't, but I felt like it! I noticed something in that position, the pain was decreasing, rapidly. By the time he fooled with my port, the pain had completely subsided. COMPLETELY.

Mr. Man nurse left. Lucy and Ethel AKA Mom and Ray tried to thrust me out of the bed! All I wanted was for it to have me in a sitting position. The only thing they could figure out to do was tilt the entire bed forward with my feet closer to the ground and my head closer to the ceiling. I thought for sure they would have me in complete V formation before somebody stopped the madness. Mom just laughed. I loved the sound...Mom laughing. It was worth it!

The blood test came back. It showed a possible door number 2, so I got to go through the CT even though the pain was gone. CT was clean. I won door prize number 3! Hooray! I was able to be released and now I get to pray my way through anxieties of future Taxol reactions. All I have to say about this is FUN TIMES!

If Monte and Cha can come and pray with me to smash the needle anxieties to smithereens, then I can do the same about future fears! I will put my Trust in the Lord. I will magnify him and not my fears. this little thing called cancer will only draw me closer to my Father. It's all good!

Memo to me: Next time you feel this excrutiating pain...stand on your head! It could save my friends and family pain of their own, $100 and preciouse sleepy time!