The Worst

Nausea...the room is spinning, but I'm lying still, I think. No, something moved. It was Ray, he finally came to bed.

It's 3 AM. Oh how I want to be sympathetic to his pain and needs, but I'm completely overwhelmed. I'm even angry at him for not taking his sleeping pill. If he took it, maybe he wouldn't have moved at this precise second to wake me up to this body of mine. (Seriously, who gets mad at their husband because he is in pain. It's not his fault...Crappy wife...I have become!)

Is something on top of me? The pain shoots through my entire body. It's not shooting. It's constant. It's not getting any worse, because this is the most pain I've ever experienced. The pain is deep within the tiniest tissues of my body and exploding to my epidermis. Something must be on my chest. It is crushing me.

Damn this nausea. Stop moving world! Please for one second! I have to pee, and actually contemplate peeing in the bed because the pain and nausea are just too unbearable. GOD, help me....

He did. I went potty, made it downstairs to my phone. On the other end was my MOM.

"This is the worst. It's the worst it's been. I can't describe how this flu-like pain is overtaking every part of my body. I can't bear the nausea. It's so much worse than morning sickness. It won't stop. I can't think."

I don't know what she said, but she was there. Her voice, like only Mom's voice can do, steadied me through bottles of medicine before me. Thank you, HES for causing me to be tedious about monitoring notes. My spreadsheet of meds, amounts, times, and spaces to write copious notes made it easier. "I don't want to go Heath Ledger. I'm writing it all down and keeping the bottles out just in case."

Mom sent dad. My dad...today, I will say My DADDY came to stay with me through the hardest night of my life. Brad was with me too...with the iPod don't touch! The LORD will fight for you. You need only to be still engraved with all my brother's love...Thank God! Because I can't move! Thank you, Mom, Dad, and Brad!