I am mad as a hornet! I am angry that my Mom is pouring her life and heart out to help my Grandma (her Mom) and Bob (My Grandpa) and it is so hard on her.
I'm mad that we only know part of what is going on with Bob.
I'm mad that my Grandma smokes inside with the possibility of burning down her home.
I'm mad that my Grandma is digging in her heals making it next to impossible for my mom to take her with her to go see Bob in the hospital!
I'm mad that my Mom can't make any plans for my Grandma and Bob's care!
I'm mad that my Mom is so busy that she can't even stop to feed herself during the day.
I'm mad that I can't be with my Mom to help her as she has always been there for me.
I'm mad that my Mom is tired.
I'm mad that my Mom is discouraged.
I'm mad that my Mom has all of these pressures pulling her down and discouraging her!
I'm mad that the stupid billing department at the doctor's office (NOT MY doctor's, they are all wise men and perfect as can be for humans!) took everything out of my savings and checking account without my authorization and now I'm bouncing bills from here to TIMBUKTU!
I'm mad that the lady who said she would fix it today did NOT do what she said.
I'm mad that I have to deal with this today and tomorrow!
I'm mad that I have to call all the people that have bounced checks to explain the situation and pay them whatever fees and then call the promise-breaking lady back to let her know how much she owes me for those incurred fees!
I'm mad that I had the wrong time written down for my chemo today.
I'm mad that I had to do chemo today AND tomorrow.
I'm mad that I have to do chemo AND take care of the Money Mayhem today and TOMORROW!
I'm mad that my father had to drive from Georgetown to Hutto to bring my a check to deposit to cover the money the promise-breaking lady took from my account when he should be studying for his SUPER DUPER important test he has to take TOMORROW.
Lord, at this point I know you are looking at me thinking, just give it to me! You are waiting for me to forgive as you have and continue to forgive me. I will, but I really need you to step in here. I'm so undone! I do forgive the promise-breaking lady. It is written, I have spoken it, but I don't feel it.
Father, please, please, wrap your arms around my Mom in California tonight. Lord please let her feel your presence and your peace. Would you come and love on her and give her hope and peace that passes all understanding. Could you rain your grace upon her now as I pray? Jesus, could you renew her strength as she sleeps soundly tonight? I just pray for angels to be placed on the north, south, east and west corners of Grandmas home. Lord, could you cover them? Would you stop the enemy? I just speak hope and life and peace in the name of Jesus! Could you stick a fire under my Grandma's pants so that she will be agreeable and cooperative tomorrow. Perhaps you could do that. THAT would be a miracle! You would be glorified, surely! Only you can step in the midst of my Mom's situation and bring peace, comfort, hope, clarity and grace.
Mom, 2COR4:8-9 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. I love you Mom!
1 comment:
Alicia- you amaze me; still worried about others while you are going through so much- and still willing to try and forgive- even though your flesh is screaming I don't want to. Even in your venting you glorify our father- and I am so proud of you. Prayers for your mom, you and the imperfect problem causing lady. Blessings will pour down from on high.
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